l’intelligence émotionnelle

 The vaster our language for feelings is, the greater our capacity to experience the subtleties of each feeling. Its like not seeing the other twenty- six kinds of snow because we don’t have words for them. The more words you have to express yourself the more colors you have to paint with. When you understand the difference in definition between irritated and annoyed you can recognize the discrepancy when you are experiencing either. With that insight you can more readily pin this emotion back to its origin. From this point you can determine what your current needs are in response to the feeling you are having. With more vocabulary to express yourself, others will understand you better. Many, if not all, interpersonal problems are brought about through miscommunication. It is quite incredible how much subjectivity can surround one situation. In the human’s personal world of inarticulate feelings and confusing needs subjectivity is a strong and divisive force between others and ourselves. It is through clear communication of our feelings (or in other words, a feeling being the effect from an action that happened in the past influencing you currently), that we understand our needs (the effect of desiring an alteration to our current feelings and our way of going about getting that alteration) and requests (the effect of our needs and the will to ask another to permit this alteration.) If we all could jump into our enemies head and see the issue as they do, obviously it would then make sense to us. For this reason there is no definition of right and wrong, there is too much subjectivity to determine that, we are all just doing what we can to get our needs met. When you understand that, and look upon a person’s behavior as just their way of fulfilling needs, any resentment melts away and connection happens. 

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