Letters with Rick

  • Jess It was/is wonderful Rick! I learned so much. Now I know, now I know.. I have more understanding and conviction about the state of existence and my own existence. I learned a lot about what it means to be human. What my limitations/ defense mechanisms/ immaturities are (all the same thing.) I feel parented. I feel extremely parented. I realize I’ve never really been in my life, and I see how that has lead lack of character in myself (not meant to be mean.) But I understand what the role of a parent is meant to be. It is meant to prepare you for your existence, make you a being that isn’t filled with fear but once to be mobile, connect, and stand strong. And now I want my friendships to consist of mutual parenting. Because there is only one way to be human. Of course I’m not denying there’s subtle personality differences, but relatively really there is one way to be in this human form and any lack of that is due to our defense mechanisms/ immaturities. Objective reality exists and subjectivities are due to not being fully developed. Subjective outlooks are based on your defense mechanisms (which really can be your whole way of being, how you make yourself feel secure in this wild, confusing existence.) We are fucking divine. And Gaia and celestial beings are waiting for us to mature. Plant intelligence man.. the nature loves us and is being patient. In the future, when we get to the point everyone will take ayahuasca, it will be a right of passage. We will get there when we have to. Ayahuasca is going to be integral in the human existence in the future. We are a part of this awakening

    And it is so comforting to be in room full others doing this work. I’ve felt lonely in this, thinking there was just a few us out there. I believed like I was an authority on reality really, like its all subjective but mine is the least biased. No,no,no now I see there is objectivity, and mature beings can all share in this. It makes me respect others views as equal to my own and for people who’s views waiver from the objectiveness, they are defending themselves from their shadows. The purge is a total union with your shadow. Fully experiencing the horrors of what you have been hiding about yourself. Getting in total contact with them and then accepting that they have just been part of the process. And now that you know you can nurture them out. It was stuff I have been trying to work on in myself for a while, but I couldn’t disengage and release it because it was a overarching part of my reality. Mama has shown that it is a small part and I can release it and let it float off. Everything’s clarified and made concrete. My life has been pointing at this, but now I know with conviction. Not certainty, not certainty but bold conviction. Ok that’s what I have for now. But if anything else comes up I’ll shoot it across the world to you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. For being my friend, for being a partner in all this, for the confluence between our two minds, for introducing me to so much. I am excited for what existence has is store for us. And what we are going to do for the dharma. love you so much

  • Rick Wow! So much learning! I love it! I’m really glad you had a good experience. The Grandmother gives us all her wisdom, and I find that no two person’s experiences are ever the same. What I think everyone experiences, though, is the unifying truth of existence. I’m so very happy and blessed to hear this news from you! I would love to actually hear your voice and have a conversation about this. Maybe we can chat sometime, or maybe we can talk when I get back.

    I am also curious and excited for the future. As of now, I’m sort of just learning how to live and move on a whim. I find that nothing in this place is what it seems. Everything is somehow impossible to accomplish, yet it all works out in some weird way. It’s really humbling.

    Ok, gotta catch a train. I love you very dearly!

    Jess Everything is impossible to accomplish, but it all does somehow work out. Brilliant. Catch that train! love you!

  • Rick I took some time to think about what you wrote today. This kind of work takes a lot of focus, and even just responding to the message of truth and growth can take immense patience and pondering.

    Aya is the medicine for our species. It definitely brings objective reality to your door, and slams it right into your face. You can’t help but face all your demons and fears, naked and completely vulnerable to the Truth. The Truth, which is in every living thing, is made clear of the cobwebs of ego. The Grandmother burns it out, torches it with an infinitely hot fire, and all that is left is that Truth. It sits inside of you like some kind of perfect diamond, unimaginably pure and real. And you knew it all along, ever since you were born, this Truth. Your ego and assumptions and desires and social training have been what’s stopping you from realizing it. Maybe one day when society is ready, we can be rid of society altogether with the Mother. I hope it happens someday, I do.

    The subjective outlook you described, it being the result of an undeveloped spirit, is something that I thought about today. I find that I can only describe my travels in comparison to something else. India is dirty and hectic. These are subjective descriptions that must be based on discrimination between two objects, in this case India and California. I think this discriminatory tendency that we have, to be subjective to everything, is a manifestation of our ego and the shroud that encompasses all things. In reality, there’s nothing any more special about India or America. They’re just places where humans live out their existence.

    In Taoism, as maybe you might be aware, the discrimination of our world, from one thing against another, is the root of our suffering. The Yin and Yan. It creates desire, which causes attachment, and all the other unfortunate human conditions.

    I want to thank you, too. You are literally the only person I know who understands or even cares about this mumbo jumbo. You’re the only one I know who wants to do real work. I know that I can come to you and share real experiences and observations, knowing that you don’t judge. I love it when we chew on eachother’s thoughts. It’s one of the greatest things in life for me.

    So yeah, thanks for being there. I can’t wait to grow with you and learn from you! I want to journey again when I get back, so maybe if you’re around and interested, we can do it together.



  • Also, did they play this song? It’s called Sou Beija Flor. It was my favorite song of the ceremony. For some reason, it really speaks to me.

    Translated from Portuguese to English:

    I am a singer, my life is to sing
    Let’s go my brother and sisters, let’s sing
    I am a hummingbird, my life is to fly
    Love the flowers and fly
    I am a person of prayer, my life is to pray
    And ask God to help us

  • Jess VIVA!

    As for the song, I didn’t engage in singing it I know for sure, but others could have at a time when I couldn’t. I remember looking at it and liking it a lot though.

    I am a person of prayer, my life is to pray
    And ask God to help us

    I do see this as God’s work.


    you just so gracefully reflected what I was getting at, thank you. I shall use your list technique to sort through the language that is buzzing around my head

    1. humans are love- creatures

    2. stunted love causes pain that is expressed as various coping methods

    3. if love creatures get their love needs met we will all see eye to eye

    4. gaia and celestial beings are rooting for us

    5. plants have intelligence, maybe they are the higher beings that get the blissfullness of existence and don’t have to suffer in human form

    6. upon death we are upcycled back into consciousness

    7. aya teaches us how to be in human form, as a singer sings, a hummingbirds fly, aya shows us what a human does

    8. other entities love humans

    9. all just is, india california, all. just. is

    10. plant spirits are beckoning us in to the next stage of human existence

    -that is a far out list right there. We will go more in depth in person. But I have not lost it. Or maybe I have. Either way just is. x


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